If you want something you've never had, you've got to do something you've never done. ...how about if I don't want to be an after-thought to the opposite sex? How would that look? How about like this:
I met a boy at a bar (of course I did), and allow me to cut to the chase: we had several dates, said things, did things, revealed things that let me to believe he would be a semi-permanent fixture -- OK, fine. I slept with him...and he disappeared. ...Not a word....crickets. Until Sunday...exactly one month later (one. entire. month.), when he texts me out of the blue like nothing happened. ...like we saw each other yesterday. And feel free to call me naive, but I did not think humans behaved in this manner beyond the age of 22. But once again, San Diego has proven me dead wrong. In the land of eternal summer, men -- like the seasons -- don't seem to evolve, and 36 is the new 23. ...or 14 in this case.
I predicted this would happen. Maybe it was an observation or something the man-child had said in passing, but even after his lapse and my rants and tears, I had the distinct feeling that he would contact me again. And I predicted that I would not respond - which is usually fine. ...Lotta frogs out there, par for the course.... Except in this case, I really did like the boy -- and as stated earlier, I was semi-invested in more than a three date minimum relationship. So not only was I was hurt one month ago when he didn't call, but the hurt resurfaced like a freshly opened wound at his reemergence. I bitched to a couple friends who gave me the standard, "what an ass." But truth was, I felt victimized. I hate that word, and I definitely hate that feeling. I felt powerless -- sure, I'm not responding and cutting off the arm...but I've cut off the arm... and that wound does not easily heal.
I saw my friend Aimee later that day, and told her about man-child. After she rolled her eyes, she said, "You should have him meet you out and stand him up."
...huh.
I had never thought of that before. That's pretty goddamn brilliant. What would happen if I did that? I'm a nice girl, I don't really do things like that. Is that behavior morally justifiable? ...just the thought of it felt empowering. And in that moment, I realized that I don't have to take crap lying down. We teach children "do onto others" -- why not man-child? So I sent him a text...like not a goddamn thing was wrong. After some back and forth, we decided to meet up last night. (He lives about 20 miles north of the city, so I made sure to pick a location downtown. Where parking is especially difficult.)
We were supposed to meet at 7pm. About 7:15, I get a "hey, where are you?" text. At 7:30, I get a "did I get the time wrong?" That was followed by a nastygram. And finally, silence. This morning, I sent him the following: "Know for the next woman you date, you should call the day after you have sex. And you should also open the car door." ...jackass.
I don't know if I would call this vengeance. Or even karma. I prefer to look at it as a teaching tool. After all, training works with dogs...but then again, I know my dog is a lot smarter than this guy.
I met a boy at a bar (of course I did), and allow me to cut to the chase: we had several dates, said things, did things, revealed things that let me to believe he would be a semi-permanent fixture -- OK, fine. I slept with him...and he disappeared. ...Not a word....crickets. Until Sunday...exactly one month later (one. entire. month.), when he texts me out of the blue like nothing happened. ...like we saw each other yesterday. And feel free to call me naive, but I did not think humans behaved in this manner beyond the age of 22. But once again, San Diego has proven me dead wrong. In the land of eternal summer, men -- like the seasons -- don't seem to evolve, and 36 is the new 23. ...or 14 in this case.
I predicted this would happen. Maybe it was an observation or something the man-child had said in passing, but even after his lapse and my rants and tears, I had the distinct feeling that he would contact me again. And I predicted that I would not respond - which is usually fine. ...Lotta frogs out there, par for the course.... Except in this case, I really did like the boy -- and as stated earlier, I was semi-invested in more than a three date minimum relationship. So not only was I was hurt one month ago when he didn't call, but the hurt resurfaced like a freshly opened wound at his reemergence. I bitched to a couple friends who gave me the standard, "what an ass." But truth was, I felt victimized. I hate that word, and I definitely hate that feeling. I felt powerless -- sure, I'm not responding and cutting off the arm...but I've cut off the arm... and that wound does not easily heal.
I saw my friend Aimee later that day, and told her about man-child. After she rolled her eyes, she said, "You should have him meet you out and stand him up."
...huh.
I had never thought of that before. That's pretty goddamn brilliant. What would happen if I did that? I'm a nice girl, I don't really do things like that. Is that behavior morally justifiable? ...just the thought of it felt empowering. And in that moment, I realized that I don't have to take crap lying down. We teach children "do onto others" -- why not man-child? So I sent him a text...like not a goddamn thing was wrong. After some back and forth, we decided to meet up last night. (He lives about 20 miles north of the city, so I made sure to pick a location downtown. Where parking is especially difficult.)
We were supposed to meet at 7pm. About 7:15, I get a "hey, where are you?" text. At 7:30, I get a "did I get the time wrong?" That was followed by a nastygram. And finally, silence. This morning, I sent him the following: "Know for the next woman you date, you should call the day after you have sex. And you should also open the car door." ...jackass.
I don't know if I would call this vengeance. Or even karma. I prefer to look at it as a teaching tool. After all, training works with dogs...but then again, I know my dog is a lot smarter than this guy.
