Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Ru Paul for President

In honor of the Iowa Caucus, I decided to learn what the fuck a caucus is.  And mainly, how it differs from a primary.  ...so allow me to share my knowledge:

A primary is basically a mini-election.  The polls open early and close late; we go at a convenient time and cast an anonymous ballot and democracy continues as we know it.  A caucus on the other hand is a gathering of people on a specific date and appointed time -- so in other words, it's not particularly convenient to me and likely occurs at the same time as dinner - oh, excuse me, we're in Iowa -- supper.  In addition, what I decide is in no way secret, as I have to raise my hand or gather with my like-minded group in the corner of the gym for all to see -- and judge me at church on Sunday as well.

This new caucus knowledge bothers me more than is reasonable (especially since I've never been to Iowa).  But (despite this blog) I do like my privacy and I don't think it's anybody's business whether I vote for Herman Cain, or Ru Paul or the crazy bitch whose husband converts gay people.  Why can't I just get in, get out, and then share my vote with my smaller inner-click of friends who think like me?  I hate people.  I hate sharing.  And I hate leaving my house in the cold dark night of January.  ...reason #476 I'm grateful to not live in Iowa. (...the first 400 or so reasons go along the lines of 1) people are nice; 2) they speak to each other; 3) they check on their neighbors; 4) they're helpful....  Amateurs....)

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